Future World Problems

My self-driving car is too slow;

it takes forever to get anywhere.

I would teleport instead

but it gives me a headache.

 

Actually, I wanted to go to Mars

for a quick weekend overnight,

but tickets were sold out. Oh well,

it’s cold there this time of year anyway.

 

I could stay at home but lately my

holograms have been buffering

all the time.  All I want to do is

watch the game in 3D!

 

I’m also trying to stay away from

my fridge.  It auto-fills with what I eat—

which is mostly junk—and I hate taking

diet pills.  I lose weight too fast.

 

At least I’m not at work—TGIF, right?

The robots I manage are

always breaking down.  Sometimes,

I have to do the work for them.

 

And my boss is always wanting to do

weekly video chats—he’s old fashioned

that way.  That means I need to shower

and look presentable at home—oy!

 

Instead of going out, I guess I’ll

hook up my VR and go to a virtual club.

I met a really cute girl last week,

but it turns out she was actually a dude.

 

One day, technology will catch up

to where I’m at.  One day, I’ll

wake up and everything will just work.

Then, I can stop complaining.

 

@technorotica

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