Me Talk Techie One Day

Bluetooth

really freaks me out,

worse than public wifi networks,

worse than public bathrooms without toilet paper;

I heard it gives you brain cancer,

and on it the government

listens.

 

My email

got hacked because

my forwards have a whole bunch

of foreign letters and symbols and sometimes

my mouse moves when I

didn’t even touch

it.

 

and this one time my sister had her computer stolen from her car and then someone got into her contacts and changed all the names to Ted Mosby and I don’t even know who Ted Mosby is and when I tried to Google it to help her out instead of Ted Mosby it brought up porn and so I shut down my computer right away and unplugged it because I hear they can turn it on remotely after all that’s what that Snowden guy did and that’s why the government hates him but then all of a sudden my phone rang and it was some guy in India and he said that he wanted to offer me life insurance but I already have life insurance

 

So,

I’m pretty sure

I need a new computer,

one that doesn’t get emails from Nigerian princes,

one with lots of firewalls

but no wifi and no

bluetooth.

 

@technorotica

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