I never forget my password
Never have to write it down
No, no. I got it.
It must contain a capital letter
It’s eight characters or longer
Must include a special symbol
(but not %, *, or @—those symbols are too special)
It’s gotta be easy to remember
But no one can ever guess it!
Cannot have more than three repeating numbers
Or consecutive numbers…because, duh!
Cannot contain a word or phrase that a computer could easily guess
And it cannot be the same as all of your other passwords
Because if it is…what’s the point?
Ok, I got it. My password is:
My street address number growing up divided by my favorite number
The celebrity name of my first childhood crush and my cat
(how do I combine Emily and Josephine?)
Then I’ll include an anagram of the nickname of my best friend growing up
And include my favorite sports team
(even though I’m not much of a sports guy—the hackers will never catch on!)
Then I’ll randomly replace some of the letters with symbols
And capitalize some of the letters but not the first letter
And for added security I’ll randomly roll a d-10 five times and stick that number…
…at the end, I guess
“This password has been used too recently.”
“Your password has been updated successfully.”